On Boxing Day of last year I put my trainers on and went out and ran. I was rubbish in all honesty, but while I was running I was aware my heart was beating and each time I wanted to give up, it reminded me of the times my son was fighting for his life in hospital. He never gave up and I never wanted him to, so why would I give up….after all I was only running! Some days I would run till I cried, some days I would run till the pain in my heart and mind had gone away, then one day I ran because I realised I was enjoying it.
I started to run with friends and started to look forward to spending time with my friends while I was running. I loved listening to their stories and they also made me laugh, which helped hide the pain I was secretly going through. Each night I put myself back into that hospital room with Liam thinking about what I could have done differently, watching his big eyes looking at me in complete shock with tears rolling down his face. The moment his body started to shut down in front of me and his first of many seizures is still raw in my mind to this day. I watch Liam now come to terms with his life and each time he has gone back into resuscitation after that night we fight with him, knowing one day what the final outcome could be.
I used to think stuff like this would not happen to me, and I was right it never happened to me, but it happened to my son and now this is something we will have to live with for the rest of our lives.
Next year I will run the Virgin @londonmarathon after confirming a celebrity running place. I will be running it with people I have become and continue to be great friends. They have got me through the dark nights, ran with me on my sad days and above all, they along with their children have kept me & Liam smiling, which is what we set out to do in the first place. “While Liam keeps smiling we will keep fighting”